Jeep Hits Planet. Film at 11.

December 7, 1991: Kennebunk, ME. (FRUSTRATICUS WIRE SERVICES) While driving to Freeport, Maine for some holiday shopping, Mr. Pist O'Phocles and Ms. Mary Goodfriend of Boston, Massachusetts, hit a slushy patch on Interstate 95 and ran the car off the road into a ditch, killing a sign post.

The incident occurred near Kennebunk, Maine on a two-lane stretch of US Interstate 95, northbound. Witnesses state that the vehicle was traveling at between forty and forty-five miles per hour and seemed to be attempting a change into the right-hand, or "cruising" lane after having passed a large tractor-trailer that had been spraying snow and debris onto the windshields of following cars. While crossing the dotted line between lanes, O'Phocles' car, a somewhat abused 1988 Jeep Cherokee, began to skid and reached as much as a ninety-degree angle to its intended trajectory before its driver was able to correct it back to almost a mere twenty degree angle error. The car followed this angle off the highway onto the snowy shoulders. Unfortunately, the shoulder sloped downward almost thirty degrees and was criss-crossed by drainage ditches. As the front-right wheel of the Jeep went into one of these gullies, the vehicle rolled onto its right side. During this activity, Mr. O'Phocles was quoted as calmly saying to his passenger "Hold on."

Only the precaution of wearing shouldered seat-belts prevented the pair from serious injury and perhaps becoming a single, oddly-shaped, passenger in one of the local fire-department's emergency vehicles. The seat-belts performed their job admirably, holding the two almost upside-down in their seats, while the car pondered rolling further.

While no injuries were reported, other than a broken fingernail for Ms. Goodfriend, the two did find themselves trapped in the poorly-postured vehicle until bystanders noticed the dark spot in the snow and assisted them in extricating themselves from the Jeep. The two noted how difficult it is to open a car's doors from the inside when it is not right-side up.

The car was towed to a body shop in Kennebunk, where top specialists are fighting to revive it from its critical condition. The driver and passenger were taken by the State Police to the nearest emergency shelter, a Popeye's two exits further, to await the arrival of Mr. O'Phocles' nearest relatives.

This same vehicle has shown a distinct pattern of accepting and perhaps even enjoying, abuse. Shortly after Mr. O'Phocles purchased it, a large tree fell across its roof while parked at his home. The following Christmas, a visit by his parents included a brief stop-over in the parking lot to retrieve the remains of the vehicle's tail-lights after Mr. O'Phocles backed into a telephone pole. Mr. O'Phocles was not willing to comment on any connection between his parents' presence in the vehicle and the ramming of the vehicle into the large stationary object.

No further update has been received on the fate of the vehicle; however, Mr. O'Phocles and Ms. Goodfriend did not suffer any delayed effects from the incident and enjoyed a relaxing weekend of hot-tubbing and sledding at the home of Mr. O'Phocles' relatives in Portland, Maine. With the assistance of a mutual friend from Boston, Mr. Driver, the two did eventually reach Freeport and then returned to Boston, wearing their seat belts for the entire trip.